Success Is for An Other

I was visiting with a friend of mine the other week and he use the words accomplishment and successful interchangeably. He wanted to be more successful in life so that he could provide for his family. This struck me as notable because my friend is in his mid 30’s and is already making decent money. He is more than providing for his family.

This exchange reminded me that success is always for another person, an other. You can be the richest person in the world and still not feel successful, because there is another’s approval you are seeking. And it is not until that “other” sees you as successful that you feel successful. My friend did not feel successful (even though by all standards he is) because he is trying to prove he is successful to an other. We spent the rest of the time exploring who the “other” person is.

If success is for an other, then accomplishment is for your self. When we brag about our accomplishments, we really are in the realm of seeking the approving eye of the “other”. Put simply, talking about our accomplishments means we are seeking success.

Jesus talk about two types of prayer. The one who prays on the street corner and the one who prays in the private room with the door closed. Jesus casts shade on the one who prays in the public square (for they have received their reward Jesus says). Jesus instructs us to pray in private with the door closed and the work of prayer will be accomplished. Accomplished prayer is not for an “other” who is always disappointed in how often or the depth of your prayers. If we feel that we are not good enough or not comfortable praying, we may be seeking the approval of an other. We may be seeking success.

Let me be clear, many of us are motivated to be successful, but we must be aware to whom the success is directed. While success is done for someone, accomplishment is done on behalf of someone. And this is the intersection of compassion and achievement. When we accomplish something we do so on behalf of another.

My friend wants to be successful to provide for his kids, but what he was describing was a desire to provide things for his kids that they could not do for themselves. His kids are too little to get a paycheck and “produce” things for the world. He works and meets goals in his work on behalf of his kids - this is what motivates him to work hard. His compassion and love for his kids drive him forward to accomplish goals.

God is not very successful, but God is very accomplished. There is no “other” that God is working to impress or woo over. God is able to rest at on the seventh day because of all that was accomplished, those seeking success shun rest or see it as a way to be more productive. Jesus said on the cross “it is finished”, which is something you only say when you accomplish something. Those are seek success are never content with being finished.

Success Is Not a Name of God

Many people know that Jesus taught many times using parables. A parable is a story that puts things “parallel” to one another in order to allow the space between them to illuminate what we are missing. Sort of like putting a frame around a picture. The frame is the tool the artist uses in order to show within the frame. To get focused on the frame is to miss the point of the art. Which is why we do not get hung on on the historical accuracy of the parables, we know that they are just the frame to show us something else.

Clearly I am not Jesus - on my best days I am able to be in the parking lot of his stadium. I am not a master story teller and I am working with the art form of parable, but it is not easy for me. What follows is not a parable, but an attempt to offer a frame in order to show a hyperbolic contrast in order to expose the question: What is success to God?

The frame is just two quotes. One from Dorothee Soelle’s book and the other from Jerry Falwell Jr’s twitter feed.

“Martin Buber said that “success is not a name of God.” It could not be said more mystically nor more helplessly. The nothing that wants to become everything and needs us cannot be named in the categories of power. To let go of the ego means, among other things, to step away from the coercion to succeed. It means to “go where you are nothing…” The ultimate criterion for taking action cannot be success because that would mean to go on dancing to the tunes of the bosses of this world.” - Dorothee Soelle, The Silent Cry: Mysticism and Resistance

“Conservatives & Christians need to stop electing “nice guys”. They might make great Christian leaders but the US needs street fighters like @realDonaldTrump at every level of government b/c the liberal fascists Dems are playing for keeps & many Repub leaders are a bunch of wimps!” - Jerry Falwell Jr. via Twitter (Sept 28, 2018)

Again, I ask, what is success to God?

Marketing the Most Undesirable Thing Ever

Just after the table of contents of Richard Rohr's book Everything Belongs, we find this statement/poem entitled Inherent Unmarketability

How do you make attractive that which is not?
How do you sell emptiness, vulnerability and non-success?
How do you talk about descent when everything is about ascent?
How can you possibly market letting-go in a capitalist culture?
How do you present Jesus to a Promethean mind?
How do you talk about dying to a church trying to appear perfect?
This is not going to work
(which might be my first step).

The book is about contemplative prayer and how it is a great gift given to us but often not appreciated in the Western expression of the Church. These questions push against the temptation of the Church (and her leaders) to be more relevant and spectacular and powerful.

"How do you sell emptiness, vulnerability and non-success?" 

You can't. 

The Gospel is not something we sell. It is not something that has a slick marketing campaign and it is not something that comes with guaranteed success, wealth, and/or luxury. It is the very thing that calls us to abandon those idols and leads us to the cross. For it is through the cross, where we die to ourselves, that we place our hope. 

Success in the Church is just different. It looks like broken and contrite spirits. It looks like mercy and not sacrifice. It looks like doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with God.

That sort of life does not get you famous or many followers. It may even be considered unsuccessful. 

But success is not what we are hoping for. We are hoping for resurrection.

Three Temptations of Jesus - Relevancy, Spectacular, Powerful

Henri Nouwen writes in his book In the Name of Jesus there are three temptations Jesus faces in the desert with Satan. He frames them as:

• Relevancy - turning stones into bread
• Spectacular - leaping off the temple
• Powerful - bowing to satan

Why is relevancy a temptation? "I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in the world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self."

He goes on to say, "The great message that we have to carry, as ministers of God's Word and followers of Jesus, is that God loves us not because of what we do or accomplish, but because God has created and redeemed us in love and has chosen to proclaim that love as the true source of all human life."

Finally he says, "The leaders of the future will be those who dare to claim their irrelevance in the contemporary world as divine vocation that allows them to enter into a deep solidarity with the anguish underlying all the glitter of success, and to bring the life of Jesus there." 

Photo by Jordan Whitfield on Unsplash

As I read it, Nouwen is saying that more and more people are feeling irrelevant. People feel irrelevant as they watch automation take their manufacturing job. People feel undervalued at a their job that gives little to no benefits. People feel more replaceable than ever as the world changes faster and faster. The rise of the irrelevant is well underway and there is no place in the world that cares about irrelevance because we assess people's worth on how relevant they are. 

The Church and Church leaders are to stand with the growing number of people for whom irrelevancy is the norm. Relevant pastors will continue to peddle the wares of the culture that values relevancy. Success in the Church is not being more relevant. Success looks like being in solidarity with the irrelevant of the world. 

You know, like Jesus did. 

May we be like Jesus who resisted the temptation of to be relevant. May we be like Jesus who defined success by our willingness to follow.