Peter Rollins continues to be a thinker that challenges me beyond what I am capable of thinking. While I listen or read him I feel like I understand in the moment, but as soon as try to explain it I fall apart. Not unlike when I walk confidently into a room only to enter that room and instantly forget what I came into that room for.
Rollins mentioned that there is “lack” and “loss”.
Both lack and loss are about an absence in our lives. Lack is about an absence that was never present, loss is about an absence that was present. I lack about a foot in height and overall skill to play basketball well. I never had that height or skill to begin with. However, I can loose my car keys that I thought were in my pocket.
The Bible speaks of humans created with lack, not loss.In Genesis at creation it is said that when God blew into the nostrils of the dirt, the dirt became “nephish.” Nephish means a bundle or collection of desires or appetites. The human being has appetites not because we lost something (like food) but because we have a lack that drives us (hunger drives us to find food). We can address the lack with healthier or non-healthier things, but the lack is not something that can ever be extinguished.
Someone can lack acceptance, and no matter how many awards they receive there is never enough. This person never received acceptance to begin with, it cannot be lost because it was never acquired in early life.
The problem is when we think our lack is a loss. That is to say, if we think that there was a time when humans were once complete, whole and without lacking anything, but then we lost it - we are mistaking our lack for loss. If we think that we can go back to another time (Eden, 1950’s, 1990’s, etc.) and “rediscover” what we lost - we are mistaking our lack for loss. If we think that our individual lives was without antagonism at some point in our past - we are mistaking our lack for loss. We have not loss anything, Jesus reminds us the Kingdom of Heaven is here and to come (unfolding). We never lost it, we only lack it.
Treating our lack as a loss means that we live our lives seeing the lack within us is a problem to resolve, rather than a source of energy. If we were to resolve our lack, it might be the most miserable thing we could do. As it is said, the only thing worse then not getting what you want is getting it. Because once you get it you realize that “it” cannot meet the lack within and you will be crushed. It is crushing to discover that the thing that you want, that you think will fill the lack, does not exist. The quest of life to fill the lack is revealed as a sham and so we fall into dismay.
Like the end of the movie The Graduate. The two went through hell and back in order to fill the lack in their lives. Then as they sat on the bus with the one they thought would fill the lack, they discover the lack is still present (“Hello darkness my old friend…").
Be mindful of the preacher or prophet who preaches that your lack is a loss and that they have what you have lost. You will not find it, because it was never lost to begin with.
