Pastor, I know you are busy...

About every fourth or fifth email I receive and about half of every phone conversation I have, I hear something like, “I know you are busy, but…” I cannot speak for every pastor but I believe that this modified story from the spirituality of the desert story might speak for many clergy - including myself:

There was a student who went to a teacher and asked for a word. The teacher shared a word with the student who went back home. The next day the student forgot what the teacher had said, so the student returned to the teacher.

“I am sorry teacher, but I have forgotten what you said yesterday. Can you share a word with me?”

The teacher spent a little more time with the student this second time, and then the student went back home.

A week later, the student returned and said, “Teacher, I am so sorry to bother you and I have asked now two times, but I have forgotten and would you share a word?”

The teacher sat all day with the student before the student returned home.

After two weeks, the student returned to the teacher. The student felt ashamed and was embarrassed to ask the teacher, yet one more time, “I know you are busy, and I know that I have taken a lot of your time already, but I have forgotten what you said. Could you remind me again?”

At this point the teacher took the table lamp that was to his right and asked the student to pass him a candle that was on the entry table. The teacher lit the candle, handed it to the student, and asked the student for a second candle from the entry table. The teacher lit the second candle, handed it to the student who was asked to retrieve a third and then a fourth candle.

The teacher lifted the lamp up and looed at the student who was now holding four lit candles. The teacher said, “Is the lamp diminished because it gave some of its light to the four candles?”

The student understood and said, “No.”

Never again did the student hesitate to visit the teacher and both of their homes became full of light.

The Insufficiency of Loving People in Ministry

It is a common thing to imagine that people go into ministry because they love people. I had a number of experiences with a variety of people in my life that led me to see the beauty of the human race. I love how creative people are. I love how people are able to create rules for society, and I am amazed how people skate right on the edge of such rules. I am humbled by the mystery and singular universe that is a human being. I really do love people.

This love for people is a common driver for people going into the helping professions. And while I cannot speak for other professions, I can address that many clergy go into the ministry because they love human beings. It is a noble and admirable reason to go into vocational ministry. However, it is also insufficient for ministry.

If pastors only loved people then there would be a shortage of clergy. The pay and benefits are not always great. The work is taxing. The emotional roller coaster that is being a pastor is relentless. Plus many pastors have as many bosses as they have people who attend the church. Loving people is a prerequisite for ministry, but it will not sustain you in ministry. Loving people is difficult to do. People are flawed and will fail you. People will bring to surface the best and the worst of life. People annoy and delight, stress and support. People are a mix of sinner and saint and sometimes a little cussing and coffee.

Loving people will is good but insufficient because no one can love people all of the time. However, if you go into ministry knowing that Jesus loves you, then you may come to find the source of strength to endure the best and worst of humanity. Just because it is a cliché does not make it any less true.

There are a lot of clergy that love people and knows that Christ loves them. However the clergy that I admire are the clergy that discover a third love, and that is the love that transforms a job into a calling. This is the love that the clergy person has for the Christ that lives in another person. The most faithful clergy I know love you and the Christ that lives in you. The most faithful clergy I know serve the Christ that lives in you so that even if you are a real jerk, their loving kindness does not cease.

Learning to love the Christ that is in the other requires that we come to see that Christ lives in each other - even the enemy, the other, the Democrat, the Republican, etc. Which brings us back to Kierkegaard’s idea that the ideal neighbor to love is a dead one.

Introducing Preacher of the Month

Recently I asked a prominent female preacher who is another female preacher that I should be listening to. This preacher looked at me and said, "I cannot tell you a single female preacher in a large pulpit." I was struck at her assumption that the only people worth listening to were those with a large pulpit/platform.

After sharing my shock with a trusted friend about this experience, my friend (also clergy) said, "Jason you say that you want to advocate for the voices that are not in large pulpits. What are you specifically doing to advocate for those preachers to help get their voice heard?" She allowed me to steal her idea and put it on this blog - "Preacher of the Month". 

Each preacher is asked to respond to the same set of questions so you can quickly get a sense of who they are and where/how to learn more about their efforts in ministry. And because I do not appreciate it when someone suggests something to me without telling me why they find it compelling, I also will put a note at the bottom of each profile of why I think you should know about that particular preacher.

It is my hope and prayer that you might find a new voice that is compelling for you to guide you in your faith formation.

The tension of doing things to be seen

Near the beginning of the "sermon on the mount", Jesus teaches the following:

"Beware of practising your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. ‘So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

The common understanding of this text is straightforward and literal - don't do acts of piety in order to be seen.

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.” - Albert Einstein 

The truth be told, there are some things that I do in my life in order to be seen - especially by my sons. I want him to see me be graceful toward others, so sometimes I act graceful even when I do not feel graceful - just so they will see graceful models. There are times when, as a pastor, you have to do things that you may not want to do in order to set a better model for others. I do not get the luxury of going to worship and just sit there and not talk with anyone - even if that is what I feel like doing. I have to be "pastoral" sometimes just to be seen and set a model.

Do you know how many times pastors go home or sit in their offices and scream or cry at the amount of venom they encounter? And at least half of our emotions are because we cannot do what we want to do or what others seem to have no problem doing. Pastors have to act in ways in order to be seen, not for bragging, but as a way to set an alternate model. And before we jump to the conclusion that pastors are hypocrites (which everyone really is), there are strong social pressures on pastors to be a certain way.

For instance, pastors cannot cuss, they have to wear suits (or at least tuck in their shirt), be older/experienced, etc. There is a pressure for a pastor to "look the part" and if they don't then there is an aura of suspicion. 

From internal pressures and external expectations, pastors are asked to do a lot things in order to be seen. And that makes this teaching of Jesus very difficult for church leaders.