So, Your Teen Thinks You Are Lame. Thanks Be To God.

Prior to my current position, I served as a youth minister for two different churches. If you think you are an expert in navigating the any social setting from the family dinner to a formal state dinner at the White House, I recommend you hang out with a group of teenagers. They don't care about your social skills. They think you are weird. Also the only reason they make eye contact with them while their heads are down looking at their phone is because they are rolling their eyes at you.

I heard from many parents that they are frustrated or sad or exhausted that their teen does not want to be around them. To that I say, "thanks be to God!"

Teenagers are gifted with the evolutionary trait to pull away from their parents for a number of reasons. Perhaps the most obvious is that until they pull away from their parents, teens will not learn how to socially engage with their peers. And as much as we don't like to admit it, chances are our teen's peers will out live us. Meaning, teens have to learn to engage with their peers.

It has been said that religion at her best helps us to "die before we die." Letting go of our children is a practice in learning to die before you die. This is not easy, which is why it is critical to engage in a community of faith to walk with you in this "little death." 

Forget my name. That is okay. But don't forget that I am...

Within the bible is a story about Moses encountering God. It is a more iconic story you may have heard of it. In this story Moses asks God what God's name is. Specifically Moses wants to tell others that he was sent by a powerful God named _____! God responds with the phrase loosely translated as "I am what I am." 

The idea that God claims the name of "I am" is important in a number of ways in the bible, but perhaps one of the unappreciated ways is that "I am" is how humans introduce themselves to one another. "Hello, I am Jason. It is nice to meet you." 

In our culture we place a lot of emphasis on learning people's names. It is important. However, when we place the emphasis on the individual name of the person, we miss that when we introduce ourselves we are invoking the "I am" phrase. To put it another way, when we introduce ourselves we are reminding others that while I have a unique name, I also carry the name of God (I am) with me. And so do you. 

I am Jason. I have within me a mark, reside, spark of the divine. And so do you. While we may have different names, we all share the same "I am".

You can forget my name. That is okay. But don't forget that "I am" is in all of us and that we ought to treat each other as such. 

"What if God does not write you back?"

I had an encounter with a child about the age of seven. This young person wrote a letter to God which read:

Dear God, if you are real, please write yes or no on the back. If you need me to do anything please write it here. Please help me not be afurade (sic) of monsters. From your servant, (child's name)

There was a deep feeling in my bowls and to the point now that when I read this letter even now, I am moved with a mix of emotions. In the moments after reading this letter to God, I asked the child, "What if God does not write you back?" 

This child looked at me with innocent wide eyes and stated in a matter of fact voice, "I will just wait."

In all my years of training and ministry, in all my years of practicing patience and listening, I was humbled by the wisdom of this seven year old. 

"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" - Psalm 27:14

10 weird things kids do at communion I wish more adults would do

Photo by Leah Lyman Waldron

Over the past several years I have had the joy of administering a sacrament in the Church called the Eucharist or Holy Communion. 

Maybe it is because of the fancy word Eucharist or the purity invoked when we call something "holy" but adults, for the most part, are funny when it comes to teaching kids "how to take communion". Mainly there is a strong reverence that is attempted to be transmitted from the adult to the child. But as children are not that keen on reverence and can "say the darndest things" communion with kids is something to behold. Mainly because the theology a child has at communion is more profound than most adult's understanding of communion. 

Here is some cool stuff kids teach me about communion based on things that have happened to me:

1. Run down the aisle. It is okay to run down the aisle for communion. In fact shouldn't we all be running to feast with Christ? Next time, don't walk to communion - run.
2. Take communion with a stuffed animal. This should be acceptable, as long as the stuff animal is served communion as well. Kids understand that everyone is welcomed to the table. Human and teddy bear alike.
3. Drink every drop. It is critical that every drop of grape juice and morsel of bread is consumed at communion. Who cares is people are waiting behind you to move back to their pews, you do not leave that table until you have been able to take ever last moment you can with Christ.. 
4. Ask for a "big piece". Why settle for just a little bit of Christ? Don't we all want a "big piece" of Christ?
5. Dunk the whole piece into the cup. If you get to dip the bread into the juice, soak that bread and be sure to no worry about drips or stains (see points 3 and 4 for justification).
6. Seek out the leftovers. The bread of Life is too good to discard in the trash or fed to the birds. That is why we eat all the bread after worship. 
7. Being shy is okay. Kids understand that it is an honor to be at the table of God and they do not demand a place but know that it is a treat to be there. Being shy to kids is like being humble to adults. Humility at the table of God? Great idea. 
8. Laugh. Partaking in the banquet of God is a joyful event! Smile, laugh and if you need to, put a rubber crocodile on your head and make the pastor laugh with you. 
9. Express thanks. One thumbs up at the meal is something, but two thumbs up is great. 
10. Save some for later. Putting bread into your pocket seems like a reasonable way to take Christ into the world. 

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Update: 

Thank you for reading and for commenting on this little post. Needless to say I have never had this volume of response to anything that I have ever written. The number of people I read who shared their own lesson they have learned from children have been inspiring and smile inducing. Thank you. 

Also thank you to everyone who commented on the grammatical errors. I need to be better at editing posts. And, the irony is not lost on me as today is National Proofreading Day.

Finally, may you all have a Holy Lent and may Christ continue to embody us all to Be the Change. 

Peace.