Denominational Ice Cream

Over the years I have heard that the different Christian denominations are basically all the same. Yes, there are differences - one may use a little water to baptize while another uses a lake or one uses real wine another uses juice. One has smells and bells while another has a band - but in the end they are fundamentally the same.

Some time ago I introduced myself to someone and they had this mindset that all denominations are basically the same. This person asked me, “so what is your denominational flavor?” It was at that moment that a metaphor came to me to describe denominations. And while metaphors are not perfect, I offer up this metaphor to highlight what I mean.

Some of us might think that denominations are like ice cream. They are all made of milk, sugar and some various ingredients. You may have vanilla or you may have rocky road, but no one confuses ice cream (regardless of the flavor) as anything but ice cream. And so, in this way it makes sense that someone may ask what is your denominational “flavor”.

However, and sticking with the sweet theme here, denominations are all similar in that they are dessert but they are not all ice cream. Some are cake. Some are pie. Some are ice cream. Some are cheese trays.

I think one of the greatest dessert is tres leches cake. For the deprived souls who have not embarked on the journey of delight that is tres leches cake, image a very light cake soaked in a sweet milk and topped with fresh berries, whipped cream and cinnamon. It is amazing. If I were to seek out and order tres leches and the server brings me ice cream, I would know the difference. There are obvious differences in those two items - even as they are both dessert items. I would not say, “well all dessert are basically all the same.”

And here is the rub, some of us feel like the only way that we can speak about our dessert is to shame or tear down the other desserts. Some Christians feel like the only way to assert the beauty of their denomination is to talk about the ugliness of other denominations. And so there are misrepresentations and misinformation. Fear and hate are spat out for the sake of getting others to, if not join a preferred denomination, at least reject another.

Some of us are lactose intolerant and need to avoid ice cream. Some of us have a gluten allergy and need to avoid cake. Some of us are diabetic and need to consider sugar free options. We understand this with desserts and yet we sometimes overlook this practice in our search for a community of faith all because it is assumed that “all denominations are basically the same.”

They are not and that is a feature not a bug . It is important to find the denomination that nourishes your body, mind, spirit and soul.

Otherwise we may end up becoming very sick.

Remember that time Jesus said to hate your parents?

Do you remember that time Jesus said to hate your parents? Luke 14: 25-27 reads:

25 Now large crowds were travelling with him; and he turned and said to them, 26‘Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. 27Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

Sometimes folks don’t believe that Jesus said this in the Gospels. It seems harsh at best and a violation of the “honor your father and mother” commandment at worst. How could Jesus ask any potential disciple to hate his parents, spouse, family and self?

I am unsure that Jesus is talking about one should hate a specific person so much as Jesus is asking the disciple to hate a system. The ruling family system of Jesus’ day was one called “paterfamilias”. In this system, the oldest living male was the absolute ruler over the family. He could legally exercise autocratic authority over his household. Jesus is demanding that would be disciples hate the “father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life” that affirmed, supported and promoted the paterfamilias system.

Hating a system of abuse, control and enslavement is very much a Jesus thing.

However, notice that Jesus goes on. He says in the next verses:

28For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? 29Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, 30saying, “This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.” 31Or what king, going out to wage war against another king, will not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to oppose the one who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32If he cannot, then, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for the terms of peace.

In these two little parables, Jesus suggests that the mature disciple does not just “hate” a broken system. A mature disciple considers alternative ways of being before they embark on hating the broken system. You can hate what your parents make you for dinner, but unless you are willing to offer alternatives and help cook, then hating the meal is nothing but a tantrum.

And the only thing tantrums are capable of doing are destroying. I think the United States has bore witness to when the tantrums on the extremes act out: denial of reality, conformity culture, rejection of undesired outcomes, silencing of critique and the elevation of nihilism.

Hate the unhealthy, autocratic and enslaving systems. It is easy to tear those systems down. If we want to help usher in the Kingdom of God we have to see the conversion of hearts not just the application of rules. We cannot just decree a new reality with force without also converting the hearts of others. It is insufficient to tear down a tower without considering what will be built in it’s place. It is harmful to declare war on another unless you are able to convert the other to your cause.

The United Methodist Church has a splinter church called the Global Methodist Church that is doing a fine job at tearing down the UMC. At the same time, the GMC is doing a fine job at showing others what they want to build in place of the UMC. The UMC has to get clear on the reality that many people believe the UMC is broken, unhealthy or toxic and they want to tear it all down. And until the leaders in the UMC (myself included) are able to paint a picture of a new reality for the future of the UMC, there will be more stones cast our way.

We have got to be more direct with our ability to articulate how God’s vision for the UMC is not only faithful but vibrant and healthy. We cannot continue to have the generic messages that God loves you or that you are forgiven. These are important messages, but they cannot be the only messages. We have to be able to address what the Bible says vs. what the fundamentalists of different churches say the Bible says. We have to show in word and deed how critical Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit are to the world and individual lives.

We have to offer alternatives and an imagined reality.

Disgust Will Kill the UMC and GMC

Within the United Methodist Church, the conventional wisdom is that differences divide and similarities unite. Therefore we need to create churches of like-mindedness because a church that has differences cannot walk together. It is the conventional wisdom that differences are obstacles to relationships, and so those obstacles must be removed or we must end the relationship. It is naïve to suggest otherwise. It is seen as ridiculous to suggest the opposite - that differences are what unite and our similarities are what divide.

And yet, I read this parable in Luke 18:9-14 in the Common English Bible:

9 Jesus told this parable to certain people who had convinced themselves that they were righteous and who looked on everyone else with disgust: 10 “Two people went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed about himself with these words, ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like everyone else—crooks, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week. I give a tenth of everything I receive.’ 13 But the tax collector stood at a distance. He wouldn’t even lift his eyes to look toward heaven. Rather, he struck his chest and said, ‘God, show mercy to me, a sinner.’ 14 I tell you, this person went down to his home justified rather than the Pharisee. All who lift themselves up will be brought low, and those who make themselves low will be lifted up.”

The Pharisee and the tax collector are both in the temple praying, but they are separated. Why are they separated? Because the Pharisee is disgusted with the tax-collector who is a heretical, stealing Jew who, from the perspective of the Pharisee, does not have a high view of scripture. Because if the tax collector did have a high view of scripture, they would know that it is a clear violation of scriptural to work for the Romans who worship other gods and enslave people. Disgust is an expulsive response humans have when we encounter disgusting things. It is why we push a plate away when we taste something bad. The Pharisee chose, for the sake of Orthodoxy, to separate himself from the dirty, lying, unclean tax collector.

Then notice, that when the two finish their payers, the parable reads, “I tell you, this person went down to his home justified rather than the Pharisee.” The word in this parable translated as, “rather than” in Greek is the word, “par”. Par means “alongside”, as in “parallel” parking. At the end of the parable, the two men left the temple side by side.

Something happened in their prayer that removed disgust and the two walked alongside one another. They each were converted from their own disgust. The Pharisee no longer is disgusted by the tax collector and the tax collector is no longer disgusted with himself. The Pharisee is brought low, as in brought down to the proper level since he thought to greatly of himself. And the tax collector was lifted up, as in brought up to the proper level since he though too little of himself. And they walked out alongside one another.

We have no proof that either man changed how they prayed or how they lived. We may assume that the each went back to their work and their lives. We may assume they each went back to interpreting the scriptures the way the had before the prayer session. We may assume they have many differences even to this day, but they walk alongside one another.

The Pharisee and the tax collector understand that it is their differences that bring them together. It is their differences - not their sameness - that attracts one to the other. They understand that they could walk along side each other, even with their fundamental disagreements. The only thing keeping them apart was disgust.

The UMC is splintering, breaking, tearing or whatever word you want to use. The argument is that we have fundamental differences about the authority of scripture, the sovereignty of God, the role of the church, the human condition and the nature of sin. For the sake of argument, lets assume that the UMC and the WCA really do have such fundamental differences (we don’t, regardless of leadership suggesting otherwise). Are we to accept that the differences between the UMC and the GMC are so vast and so much greater than that of the Pharisee and a tax collector? If you think so then I would encourage a re-read of the Gospels.

After prayer, the Pharisee and the tax collector can walk alongside the other, not because one convinced the other, but because in prayer we let go of disgust.

Ultimately, from where I sit, the reason for the turmoil in the UMC is not because of any of the stated reasons, but it is because of disgust. We are disgusted with each other. You see this disgust in all the digital ink spilled as the GMC makes a claim about the UMC and then the UMC makes a claim about the GMC. We grow more and more disgusted with one another and, disgust is an expulsive action.

The GMC is pushing the UMC plate away. The UMC is pushing the GMC plate away. Neither of us will be justified when we come down our little mountains of self-righteousness.

If you read this parable and think, “The tax collector is doing it right and shame on the Pharisee for doing it wrong” then we are doing the very same thing that the Pharisee is doing in the parable. Could this parable be, at least in part, a call to see that it is only when we walk alongside those who are different from us that we have the chance to convert from our disgust. If we do not overcome or even befriend our disgust then we will always be enslaved to it. The more we break into the “likeminded” communities the more disgusted we will be with others. And the most disgust we experience the more we will expel.

At which point it is only a matter of time before we expel Christ from our churches.

Church is a Bagel

Pastors are asked a lot of different questions, but most questions are variations of categories of questions.

• There are questions in the “belief category” - “what does your church believe?”

• There are questions in the “vision category"” - '“what is the vision of your church?”

• There are the questions in the “tenure category” - “how long are you going to remain the pastor here?”

• There are the questions in the “ministry category” - “does your church have ‘X’ ministry?”

While there are dozens of categories and endless variations of questions, the vast majority of questions have the same underlying assumption that suggests what is most important. The assumption is that there is some thing that holds the groups together. That “some thing” could be a doctrine, vision statement, pastor, ministry, or some other thing. But the assumption is that there is something and that something is important to know.

And it makes sense to ask that question, because that is what just about every other organization would have. However, the church is not an organization but an organism, it is not a community but a communion.

As such, the thing that makes the Church the Church is not what it has, but what it lacks.

Christianity confesses that everyone is a sinner, everyone falls short, everyone is broken, everyone has some lack. Ironically it is that shared lack of “some thing” is what unites a Church. It is like what unites an AA group. It is their lack that unites the group - their lack of consuming alcohol or their lack of control or some other lack. What makes a bagel a bagel is not what it has but what it lacks. It lacks the center, there is a hole in the bagel If you were to fill the center then it would become a bun or something other than a bagel.

It is tempting to create, start and build a church that defined by what it has. Being a part of a group because of what you all have can feel powerful and it is even appropriate at time. But it is not appropriate for the Church because when we do this, we are no longer a church. It becomes something else (such as a ‘community’ or a ‘market’ or a ‘mob’). The defining feature of the church is that it is a communion of people who confess a lack. We lack the answers. We lack sight. We lack compassion. We lack perfection. We lack control.

The Church confesses that it needs a savior because it lacks the ability to save itself.

Many people in the world will try to point out your lack and then try to sell you something to fill that lack. The Church is the only place that I know of that confesses a lack as a feature not as a bug to be corrected.