I have brown eyes but my wife has blue eyes. I have brown hair but Estee has blonde. I have fine hair but Estee has full hair. I have oily skin but Estee is has normal skin. When you look at our boys you can see each of their parents in their body.

One has blue eyes, blonde hair, oily skin and full hair. The other has blue eyes, brown hair, normal skin and fine hair. There is a residue of each of their parents in their lives.

This is how DNA works.

While we know this about biology, this is also true about psychology. I was raised in a home with a mother who is a "hugger" and a father who highly values commitment. I am a mix of these two things. There are times I catch myself acting exactly like like my mother or father. The circumstances in my past are present in the present.

When we create something, be it a child, artwork or even a society, there is a residue of the creator(s) in the created. When a child grows up in an environment that deals with anger by being abusive toward women, chances are that child will not know how to deal with anger other than to abuse women. The residue of the ones who help create that child will be present in that child throughout life.

It is important to remember when we create solutions to problems, even problems of violence, we need to be very aware of the ways we create the solution. The things that go into that solution will be present in that solution. If we use chocolate chips in a batter and expect that after all the ingredients go into the oven that they chocolate will some how be absent in the cookie, we are fools. If we use violence to solve a problem and expect violence to some how be absent in the future, we are fools.

I do not know the way forward in dealing with violence. I do know that if we use violence then we will only create solutions that in turn will have the seeds of violence within it. If we want to eradicate violence, let us begin with eradicating violence in the solutions we create.