Success Is for An Other

I was visiting with a friend of mine the other week and he use the words accomplishment and successful interchangeably. He wanted to be more successful in life so that he could provide for his family. This struck me as notable because my friend is in his mid 30’s and is already making decent money. He is more than providing for his family.

This exchange reminded me that success is always for another person, an other. You can be the richest person in the world and still not feel successful, because there is another’s approval you are seeking. And it is not until that “other” sees you as successful that you feel successful. My friend did not feel successful (even though by all standards he is) because he is trying to prove he is successful to an other. We spent the rest of the time exploring who the “other” person is.

If success is for an other, then accomplishment is for your self. When we brag about our accomplishments, we really are in the realm of seeking the approving eye of the “other”. Put simply, talking about our accomplishments means we are seeking success.

Jesus talk about two types of prayer. The one who prays on the street corner and the one who prays in the private room with the door closed. Jesus casts shade on the one who prays in the public square (for they have received their reward Jesus says). Jesus instructs us to pray in private with the door closed and the work of prayer will be accomplished. Accomplished prayer is not for an “other” who is always disappointed in how often or the depth of your prayers. If we feel that we are not good enough or not comfortable praying, we may be seeking the approval of an other. We may be seeking success.

Let me be clear, many of us are motivated to be successful, but we must be aware to whom the success is directed. While success is done for someone, accomplishment is done on behalf of someone. And this is the intersection of compassion and achievement. When we accomplish something we do so on behalf of another.

My friend wants to be successful to provide for his kids, but what he was describing was a desire to provide things for his kids that they could not do for themselves. His kids are too little to get a paycheck and “produce” things for the world. He works and meets goals in his work on behalf of his kids - this is what motivates him to work hard. His compassion and love for his kids drive him forward to accomplish goals.

God is not very successful, but God is very accomplished. There is no “other” that God is working to impress or woo over. God is able to rest at on the seventh day because of all that was accomplished, those seeking success shun rest or see it as a way to be more productive. Jesus said on the cross “it is finished”, which is something you only say when you accomplish something. Those are seek success are never content with being finished.

Beyond Passion

There is a lot of digital ink spilled encouraging people to follow or not follow their passion. It is the stuff of graduation speeches and fodder for motivational memes. I was told mixed messages. I should follow my passion because this might be what God is calling me to do and that my passion is evidence of my gifts and graces. I have also been told that I my passions are really better suited for hobbies not employment.

We laude passionate people. We find their convictions intoxicating and we are in awe of those who are passionate when they speak or sing or preform. We have a love/hate relationship with passion, but by in large it is an ingredient to thriving.

Maybe.

Rather than add to the conversation about if we should or should not follow our passion, I want to encourage us to think beyond passion to something else that is better suited to guide our lives and build up the common good.

Follow your compassion.

Passion is the seductive internal fire that does not necessarily draw us toward another person. Compassion is the ability to suffer with another which requires us to move toward another. If we follow the compassion not only will we move toward another but we also discover what God is calling us to do and be. If you are struggling to know what God is calling you to do or be, your compassion is a better indicator than your passion.

We have seen people who are consumed by passion. They loose all sense of themselves and their impacts on others all in the name of “following their passion.” Passion can consume you, it conquers.

Compassion does not consume but it can only exist if it assumes. Compassion must assume human action or the compassion does not exist. Passion exists on its own, even without action. Compassion only can exist with the action of another. I can have a passion for music without ever learning to play an instrument. Conversely, compassion moves us to be instruments (of peace, mercy, kindness, etc.)

There is a place for passion, but let us get beyond passion and into the land of compassion.

The land of passion is overpopulated anyway.

"For We Are Consumed By Your Anger..."

“For we are consumed by your anger;
by your wrath we are overwhelmed.
You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your countenance.”

— Psalm 90:7-8

At first reading, some might read Psalm 90:7-8 and think, “God is so mad at us that God will destroy us and we should be afraid of how angry God is at us.”

The problem is that when we take a verse or two and do not look at the overall arc of scripture we really can miss the much bigger point. In this case, the bigger point is that no matter how much we want to think that God is angry with us, God is not angry with us.

I know this can sound like I am speaking crazy since the “Scripture clearly says” that we are consumed by your (God) anger. How could this be a verse that testifies to how God is not angry with us?

The words here indicate that perhaps we are not consumed (as in that we are being destroyed) but that we are consumed (as in it captures our imagination) with God’s anger.

Humans are consumed, convinced and sure with God’s anger.

Maybe we are consumed with God’s anger because we believe, deep down that God cannot really love us. We are angry people and so God must be angry. We project ourselves onto God and thus violate the one of the big ten (thou shall not make graven images). God’s ways are not our ways and yet we are convinced/consumed with the idea that God must be angry.

God is not angry at you. You do not anger God - your actions are not significant enough to make God angry. Maybe we want to believe God is angry with us to convince ourselves that our actions are much more important then they really are in the grand scheme of things? Maybe we are convinced that God is angry at us as a way to exert some feeling of power and control? I mean what could be more powerful than to be able to get under God’s skin?