My young adult has left the Church (part 1)

This is a little series of posts I put out in 2010, at the time they were helpful for a number of people, I hope that continues to be true today.

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Over the past many months I have been approached by several parents of young adults who have, in some form or fashion, rejected the Church or the Christian religion in some form. I am sure it is because I am of the same cohort of their child or because I am a minister or these parents love their child or (more likely) a combination of reasons, these wonderful parents ask for guidance. After many conversations with parents who tell me the same story (albeit with different characters and little nuances) it has given me cause to write down what I have been sharing with these parents. This is not a formula on "how to get your kid back in church". Nor is it by any means going to be 100% effective in all situations, but generally speaking, I have found these steps to be a good starting point for these parents (or so they have shared with me).

1) If you have a child who is leaving church or religion, do not panic. This may be difficult to do in the moment, but panic is a reaction and in a "status update/twitter" world, reactions are all young people get and know how to fuel (with more shock). Do not panic.

This might be enough for right now. Check back in two days and I will post the other actions I have found to be helpful for adults who find themselves at a loss with their young adult.

A Coalition of the what!

There is a thought out there in business and even in the church that leaders and institutions ought to focus on those who are "willing". Willing to go along and try a new thing out. Willing to change. Willing to be a part of something. Willing to do. From former presidents use of the phrase coalition of the willing to even those who advocate for businesses to focus on the company fans, putting your emphasis on those who are "willing" is not really the description I would use to speak of the mission of the church.

Too often the church sets up events and programs in order to attract those who are 'willing' to come to it. We ask people to be in leadership who are 'willing' to give of their time. We even have been known to change the form and function or date and time of a ministry in order to coincide with the leaderships level of 'willingness'. But the fact of the matter is if we are looking for those who are willing then we will surely drive the church into the ground.

Rather than looking for the willing, perhaps the church is at its best when we are looking for the faithful. I know people who are willing to pray but it seems the world needs people who faithfully pray. I know people who are willing to serve but the world needs people to faithfully serve.

Faithfulness does not always mean one is willing.

Jesus was not willing to die as he prayed in the garden but he was faithful and found himself at the cross. Rosa Parks was not willing to give up her seat because she was faithful to the cause of justice. Some people are not willing to take a new job but remain faithful to the cause of providing for their family and so they take a job they hate. Some people are not willing to support a political candidate but remain faithful to their political party and vote for her/him anyway.

What the church needs is not to focus on being willing but being faithful. When we are faithful to the Culture of God, the world is changed.

If we are just willing, then change may never come.

Peaches as a way forward

Last year I was told the peach season in Texas was deeply impacted by the drought. This meant that the peach crop in Texas was going to be small. But what I also learned that when the fruit trees are affected by drought, they will not only produce less fruit but the fruit that is produced is highly flavorful.

Drought for peaches means that a plethora gives way to potent.

The Church talks about being in a bit of a drought. The rise of the "nones" (as nicely articulated in the recent Time magazine) highlights that the Church is not going to get a plethora of members anytime soon.

What would it look like if the Church mimicked the peach trees? What if we gave up on getting a plethora of members and focused on creating potent disciples?

To be honest, the crop may have been small but last years peaches were the best I have had in years.