I am not religious but spiritual...

There are a number of reasons for which the growing trend for people to self identify as "spiritual but not religious". It is something for which I have never really understood. I do not know how one can be 'spiritual' but not integrated into a religious community. It is something that I just have not understood. This post is not about that. Rather this is a post about a quote for which I was recently given by my colleague in ministry Rev. Nancy Allen.

In true community we will not choose our companions, for our choices are so often limited by self-serving motives. Instead our companions will be given to us by grace. Often they will be persons who will upset our settled view of self and world. In fact, we might define true community as that place where the person you least want to live with lives!…

Community reminds us that we are called to love, for community can break our egos open to the experience of a God who cannot be contained by our conceptions. Community will teach us that our grip on truth is fragile and incomplete, that we need many ears to hear the fullness of God’s word for our lives. And the disappointments of community life can be transformed by our discovery that the only dependable power for life lies beyond all human structures and relationships.

Parker J. Palmer, 1977
Plain Living: A Quaker Path to Simplicity by Catherine Whitmire

After reading this quote it dawned on me that perhaps some of the reason that some identify as "spiritual but not religious". If community is what the Church is attempting to foster, and a community is that place which you did not 'self select' to participate in then I can see why there is a strong rejection of religious community. We live in a world where we self select more and more groups we are associated with, yet Church is a place which is trying to build a community which harvests the value of a community for which we did choose our companions.

For instance, in the UMC there are things for which members cannot choose. They cannot choose the ministers of their congregations. They cannot choose where all the money goes to support (we have these things called 'apportionments' for which the UMC supports ministry around the world). When you join a UMC congregation, you are choosing to join the church but you are not totally choosing all things in the church.

Congregational churches, typically known as "Bible Churches" (which by the way I dislike that name in that it makes it seem like other Churches do not use the Bible or that we use the Koran or the Vetas), these church members choose much more than the members of UMC.

Perhaps this is why the UMC is having, in part, difficulty in gaining members. We value the values of not choosing everything. We value the value of non-choosing.

Are you connected to a community for which you did not and cannot have a voice in all that the community does?

Lesson from Hawaii

I had the privilege to spend last week in Kauai. I became aware of something while I was there. Are you ready for this groundbreaking statement?

People go to Hawaii because the island is beautiful.

Shocking, I know.

Everyone I have spoken with who has been to Hawaii says says the same thing but phrases it as a question, "isn't is beautiful?" It as though everyone is overwhelmed by the beauty of the island that you almost have to say that in the form of a question just to make sure that what you saw was real.

What strikes me about this is not that Hawaii is beautiful, but that the Hawaiian natives are nice! In fact they are more than nice, they all seem to embody a spirit that is engraved in their DNA or their souls. They are crazy nice to everyone almost all the time. And you know, they do not have to be.

In fact I would be willing to bet that Hawaiians can be total jerks and people would still visit Hawaii in mass numbers because people visit Hawaii for the beauty of the island not for the people. And yet, the people are insanely nice and hospitable.

Why?

I asked several native Hawaiians why they are so nice to tourists. I expected to hear some statement about how natives don't really like tourists but are nice to them because they supply money to the economy. But I did not hear that. Not even from people who were in the hotel or restaurant business or even the locals I met on the peer. Rather they all said basically the same thing.

"Well, I guess we are nice because we understand it is a real gift to live in such beauty."

They live in a place of such beauty. They identify they are not entitled to the grace and beauty around them. There is a humility that seems rooted in their voice as they talk as though they take such pride in the island that they cannot help but share it.

I think there is a message here for the Church. What would our lives looked like if we stopped treating hospitality as something we do but as something we are because we too identify that we are not entitled to the grace and beauty around us? What if we took so much pride in the beautiful message we call "Good News" that we could not help but share it.

The Hawaiians I encountered were hospitable as though they needed to be in order to survive. The church speaks of hospitality as though it is something we do in order to get members.

I desire a faith that I cannot help but be hospitable because I identify the beauty around me and know that grace that is in my life is not earned. I want a faith that is hospitable because it engraved in my DNA or my soul.

How fast are we willing to fail?

"It’s important that nobody gets mad at you for screwing up. We know screwups are an essential part of making something good. That’s why our goal is to screw up as fast as possible."

—Lee Unkrich, director of Toy Story 3

I ran across this quote the other day and it really jazzed me up in regards to the life of the church. What I mean is that we seem to have a great aversion (generally speaking) to failure in the life of the church. I have yet attended a clergy meeting which everything was not a 'success'. If there are failures that are brought up in conversations, I am not privy to those conversations.

So I share this quote with you, those readers who humble me with your time, in order to ask the question, "When and where was the last time you failed in ministry?"

Are you failing fast enough?

I will post tomorrow the last time I failed.

JUDGE AND SAVIOR TO CULTIVATOR

Suppose, for a moment, there is a man named James. James was set up on a blind date with a woman named Julie. When James and Julie identify one another in the restaurant and are seated by the host, and the waitress begins to place water on the table James begins the conversation saying, “When I saw you I knew right away there was something about you that I found interesting. You know what it is? You were born with one leg slightly longer than the other leg, which is why you walk with a bit of a limp. It is no big deal but I think you should see my doctor so she can have a look at it and maybe straighten you up a bit.” What does Julie do?

Or suppose for a moment, you walk along the street in Fort Worth with some friends who are trying to cheer you up after a long day at work. You turn to enter into a local business establishment, when someone you do not know says to you, “I know why you are sad and I know exactly what will cheer you up. You need to give more back to your community by volunteering.” What do you do?

As silly as these scenarios are, I have encountered non-Christians who have experienced Christianity as people who act like James and the unknown person. We have the stigma of meeting people, telling them what their problem is (sin) and then share with them the solution (Jesus). The Church becomes the judge and savior to people. Could this be why 87% of people outside the Church aged 16-29 view Christians as “Judgmental” (See the book Unchristian)? Yet not even Christ himself came to condemn or judge the world (John 3:17). Rather, Jesus spent much of his time talking with people (verses talking AT people). Jesus spent years on this earth cultivating relationships. He has a circle of 12 and an inner circle of 3. He listened to the man born blind and cultivated a relationship with him (John 9).

So I challenge all those who would take on the mantle of “Cultural Architect” to move away from judging and trying to save people and move into a life of cultivating as many relationships as we can. What would it look like if we stopped watching some of the reality television which makes us feel superior to others and called an estranged friend or family member? What would it look like if we stopped pointing our fingers at the proverbial liberals/conservatives and tied to listen to others with opposing views to work toward a compromise? I am not sure but I think that looks a little like the Kingdom of God.